[She leans back into his weight as she shakes her head at his question, otherwise staying silent. Her heart knows what her mind has long forgotten...]
i didnt realize how much was gone or how much people have been trying to tell me is missing. i caught a couple things but didnt question others.
ive also gotten at least one back chijin. i dont know how.
im scared about having nothing left. but i told hua chan that i dont want to have to choose between being scared for what i have left and just letting myself disappear without even trying
who i was will come back to me through the people i care about here and the things ive told them. they hold who i was. who i will be wont be just a memory.
who i am now cant be either of those things or my heart wont make it. so i wont. even if it takes time or doesnt leave me the same person as i was my self will still grow back. just like a lock of my hair. im the one who needs to accept what it changes.
i cant see it clearly yet chijin and theres still a lot i need to think about
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i didnt realize how much was gone or how much people have been trying to tell me is missing. i caught a couple things but didnt question others.
ive also gotten at least one back chijin. i dont know how.
im scared about having nothing left. but i told hua chan that i dont want to have to choose between being scared for what i have left and just letting myself disappear without even trying
who i was will come back to me through the people i care about here and the things ive told them. they hold who i was. who i will be wont be just a memory.
who i am now cant be either of those things or my heart wont make it. so i wont. even if it takes time or doesnt leave me the same person as i was my self will still grow back. just like a lock of my hair. im the one who needs to accept what it changes.
i cant see it clearly yet chijin and theres still a lot i need to think about
but its the path i want to take.