dianxias: (86.)
xie lian, martial arts dumbass god ([personal profile] dianxias) wrote in [personal profile] heartablaze 2020-11-21 02:32 pm (UTC)

[ hikaru is, as ever, a force of nature. he barely has a minute to look at the flower (and it makes his heart squeeze with warm fondness, for this young lady and for the kindnesses the people of the realm have shown him) before she's taking his hand.

xie lian lets her speak, processing every word. and... logically, hikaru is right, but old habits die hard. some of the regret of it faded when someone got to take it out on him, but he'll live with the burdens of his mistakes and his choices until the end.

hikaru's was especially painful. he and goat panicked over it, trying to figure out what was wrong, but ultimately, the influence of someone else's position similar to his own made it so he was left powerless. everyone matters to xie lian, but hikaru's life was inordinately special, and losing her (especially when she'd prayed to him like that) left its mark on him.

...still. he's not the type to live in the past, and hikaru stands in front of him, now. that is what matters - every sacrifice was worth it.

he lifts his hand and covers her small one with a squeeze. ]
...Thank you, Miss Hikaru.

[ ultimately, he did his best. his best hasn't been good enough in a while, but... he did the best he could do.

there's a pause, and xie lian's mouth twitches into a small, wistful smile, gaze flicking down. ]
....I would be ignoring your prayers were I to not try and think that way.

[ she'd prayed for someone to learn to forgive themselves, after all.

he doesn't think hikaru's killer feels any remorse, knowing who it is. but the person who needed to forgive themselves the most, even if hikaru didn't know it, was the one who was sitting with her all along. ]

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