[Well she WAS coming out here to retrace her steps with Virid in some attempt to steady her swirling mind... but it looks like someone else is already out here, taking a steady pace against the treeline. It gets Hikaru to stop in her tracks awkwardly, her outburst at him still fresh on her tongue.]
...
Raven-san...
Can we talk?
...
Raven-san...
Can we talk?
[Hm he smells Difficult Conversation here but he certainly can't say no to Hikaru, so he turns his gaze away from the treeline and down to her.]
Of course. We had a rough day, huh.
[He's just gonna sit himself down on the grass here, she's free to join him.]
Of course. We had a rough day, huh.
[He's just gonna sit himself down on the grass here, she's free to join him.]
[She does without question, carefully dropping to a seat on her knees next to him, keeping her hands against her knees.]
...Why did you say what you said, Raven-san? About sacrificing yourself.
...Why did you say what you said, Raven-san? About sacrificing yourself.
[...
That... hurts more than she thought it would, though she's happy he's giving her the option.]
Do... you not want to give the real one?
Nobody just says stuff like that, Raven-san. Nobody says they want to give themselves up just cause they wanna be a hero.
That... hurts more than she thought it would, though she's happy he's giving her the option.]
Do... you not want to give the real one?
Nobody just says stuff like that, Raven-san. Nobody says they want to give themselves up just cause they wanna be a hero.
[If this was only a few weeks ago the answer would probably be no, but sometimes jrpg parties happen to you and you change a bit.]
I guess I just don't wanna weigh ya down with adult problems any more than you already have, y'know?
[But he's not saying he won't tell her if she wants.]
I guess I just don't wanna weigh ya down with adult problems any more than you already have, y'know?
[But he's not saying he won't tell her if she wants.]
I... don't think it's a matter of it being an adult problem or not. Somebody can hurt badly no matter what age they are, can't it? When a kid hurts... at least we have a lotta life left to live, and we can do our best as we grow up. When an adult hurts, though...
[...]
I just... always wonder how long they keep it to themselves, because they think they gotta be the strong ones. Wouldn't your heart just fall apart without somebody to talk to?
[...]
I just... always wonder how long they keep it to themselves, because they think they gotta be the strong ones. Wouldn't your heart just fall apart without somebody to talk to?
[This is a hot take. Kids shouldn't have to suffer at all, he thinks, but it's so rare they actually get to escape unscathed... and they certainly are more resilient. Still. His heart fall apart, huh? That's an interesting thing to say.]
I wouldn't worry about that. My heart's sturdier than most.
[Still, he sighs, because he sees her point. Having the rest of the group know, to worry after him, it felt weird, but it certainly felt a lot less heavy than it did before.]
Ten years ago, there was a war. Everyone I was with died, and I really ought to have died with them. That's the long and short of it.
I wouldn't worry about that. My heart's sturdier than most.
[Still, he sighs, because he sees her point. Having the rest of the group know, to worry after him, it felt weird, but it certainly felt a lot less heavy than it did before.]
Ten years ago, there was a war. Everyone I was with died, and I really ought to have died with them. That's the long and short of it.
[IF Hikaru doesn't wake up before Raven, she'll probably wake up right after him thanks to the loud thunking noise followed by a couple softer expletives as Raven maneuvers his way out of this space age pod bed.]
They really oughta warn us they're gonna pull a stunt like this, don't ya think-
As he peeks into the next pod, expecting Shiro, but instead;]
Hikaru!?
[For some reason, Raven's still just wearing his same clothes to sleep, though he's taken off his jackets and belt, and his hair is down. Still, that voice and pink shirt's pretty unmistakeable.]
They really oughta warn us they're gonna pull a stunt like this, don't ya think-
As he peeks into the next pod, expecting Shiro, but instead;]
Hikaru!?
[For some reason, Raven's still just wearing his same clothes to sleep, though he's taken off his jackets and belt, and his hair is down. Still, that voice and pink shirt's pretty unmistakeable.]
[She doesn't answer at first, comfortably buried in the blankets with her hair unbraided in a messy fan, cuddled up and surrounded by her giant dog plush, a stuffed fish with weird blue plastic pieces pinned to its back, and a small plush of a person of some sort in her arms.
Hearing her name gets her to stir and sit up, her pajamas not much more than bright pink pajama pants and an oversized tshirt with a puppy plastered on the front.]
Hnwha-- Hilda-chan, wh-
[......
Oh that's a man?? This isn't her bed?? HELLO??
Face going red, she shrieks and throws her pillow at his face.]
Hearing her name gets her to stir and sit up, her pajamas not much more than bright pink pajama pants and an oversized tshirt with a puppy plastered on the front.]
Hnwha-- Hilda-chan, wh-
[......
Oh that's a man?? This isn't her bed?? HELLO??
Face going red, she shrieks and throws her pillow at his face.]
[Yeah Raven has about 3 seconds to think to himself that Hikaru has a lot of hair and also plush toys before he is pillowed in the face, which, he guesses is a fair response.
Rather than trying to verbally convince her that this is fine because in many ways it is not, he's just going to move out of her line of sight/projectiles, and see if his stuff is in this... weird pod. specifically his hair tie. Maybe his visage first thing in the morning will be easier to process if he gets his hair tied back? Maybe.]
Y'know, I just woke up here all of a sudden same as you.
Rather than trying to verbally convince her that this is fine because in many ways it is not, he's just going to move out of her line of sight/projectiles, and see if his stuff is in this... weird pod. specifically his hair tie. Maybe his visage first thing in the morning will be easier to process if he gets his hair tied back? Maybe.]
Y'know, I just woke up here all of a sudden same as you.
[Thankfully, a google search says that Hikaru knows what a capsule hotel is, so she scrambles forward to immediately yank down the capsule screen most of the way. She has been blessed with a TEASPOON of common sense.
Well, and then he talks again.]
...Raven-san? [Just.... carefully crawling back to the screen and lifting it up enough to peek from underneath it...]
...Is Hilda-chan not here? What happened to the hotel rooms?
Well, and then he talks again.]
...Raven-san? [Just.... carefully crawling back to the screen and lifting it up enough to peek from underneath it...]
...Is Hilda-chan not here? What happened to the hotel rooms?
[It's him, the old man. Still without his jacket but his hair's the familiar barely controlled mess of a ponytail she's seen before.]
Beats me! I'd have half a mind ta think we weren't even in the Realm at all anymore, but my PHS is the same as ever. Just you and me in here as far as I can tell.
Beats me! I'd have half a mind ta think we weren't even in the Realm at all anymore, but my PHS is the same as ever. Just you and me in here as far as I can tell.
They made us change roommates, too? Did that happen while we were all asleep? [I mean, it had to have been then??? She doesn't remember jack shit right this second......
She'll take a second to slowly raise the door back up, scooting back into her pod to mess with the compartments against the walls. The largest one opens up to show her sword, just the way she left it when she'd gone to bed, and she lets out a relieved sigh.]
It's really like one of those funny capsule hotels... At least whoever did this moved all our stuff for us, huh...?
She'll take a second to slowly raise the door back up, scooting back into her pod to mess with the compartments against the walls. The largest one opens up to show her sword, just the way she left it when she'd gone to bed, and she lets out a relieved sigh.]
It's really like one of those funny capsule hotels... At least whoever did this moved all our stuff for us, huh...?
[Laughs in spoilers...]
You were a soldier, Raven-san?
[Hm. The topic of war isn't an unfamiliar one, but there was a difference between what she knew and what she'd learned in things like history books. To have everyone around you die... that was horrible enough. But to say you should also be dead, too...???]
...Why do you think you should have died? Did... something happen?
You were a soldier, Raven-san?
[Hm. The topic of war isn't an unfamiliar one, but there was a difference between what she knew and what she'd learned in things like history books. To have everyone around you die... that was horrible enough. But to say you should also be dead, too...???]
...Why do you think you should have died? Did... something happen?
That's good, at least... But yeah, I'm sure I fell asleep in a normal room with Shiro in th' other bed. The question is why we got switched.
[Fetching his jacket(s?) and slipping it back on. Who to ask, though? The Leaders don't actually seem to have much more information than anyone else.]
You've seen a room like this before, Hikaru?
[Fetching his jacket(s?) and slipping it back on. Who to ask, though? The Leaders don't actually seem to have much more information than anyone else.]
You've seen a room like this before, Hikaru?
[Hm he should correct that, but soldier and knight are different so it's fine probably.]
Well... it's just that what's the point of livin' if everyone you knew is gone? And besides that... why should you get ta live when no one else did? Our Captain's life was more important than mine, so why did she...
[His voice cracks slightly, and he just shakes his head. Conceal, don't feel.]
Like I said, stuff you shouldn't have ta trouble yerself with.
Well... it's just that what's the point of livin' if everyone you knew is gone? And besides that... why should you get ta live when no one else did? Our Captain's life was more important than mine, so why did she...
[His voice cracks slightly, and he just shakes his head. Conceal, don't feel.]
Like I said, stuff you shouldn't have ta trouble yerself with.
cw: suicidal ideation for the rest of this thread?????? damn idk what to tag this with
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heartablaze
2020-10-09 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
Raven-san...
[It's quiet at first. The idea of someone being so blatantly against living is foreign to her, but the weight that comes with it is, unfortunately, a recent friend. It aches, to see a man that tried to be so jovial only days before now flatten out under his regrets.]
I think your life's important. You're here, aren't you? You're getting to help save the world, and save your friends, and I got to meet you and learn what kind of person you are... And the Realm wouldn't choose any of us for no reason at all. I don't think that, anyway.
[A beat.
She quietly starts to pick at the grass.]
It... hurts a lot, to have to think of somebody dying, when you didn't want it to happen. When maybe you could have changed it or chosen better... you play it in your head so often that you can't sleep anymore, and you hear their voices like they're ghosts sometimes...
But... you know that... part of the best thing about life is that it changes, right? That you get to meet new people? And that maybe, stuff that you couldn't do before, or mistakes that got made, or things you really, really regret... maybe, when you meet new people, that gives you the strength to keep going?
[It's quiet at first. The idea of someone being so blatantly against living is foreign to her, but the weight that comes with it is, unfortunately, a recent friend. It aches, to see a man that tried to be so jovial only days before now flatten out under his regrets.]
I think your life's important. You're here, aren't you? You're getting to help save the world, and save your friends, and I got to meet you and learn what kind of person you are... And the Realm wouldn't choose any of us for no reason at all. I don't think that, anyway.
[A beat.
She quietly starts to pick at the grass.]
It... hurts a lot, to have to think of somebody dying, when you didn't want it to happen. When maybe you could have changed it or chosen better... you play it in your head so often that you can't sleep anymore, and you hear their voices like they're ghosts sometimes...
But... you know that... part of the best thing about life is that it changes, right? That you get to meet new people? And that maybe, stuff that you couldn't do before, or mistakes that got made, or things you really, really regret... maybe, when you meet new people, that gives you the strength to keep going?
Maybe Shiro-san is with Hilda-chan now...?
[Only so much guessing you can do from this side of it, though. She starts to comb her fingers through her hair and part it for braiding.]
Yeah. They've got funny hotels all over Tokyo with these kinds of beds with them. They call them capsule hotels? They're for like... businessmen? And people that travel a lot and don't need a big fancy room.
I think it's called that 'cause it's like a bunch of little beds squished together like those little fishies you find in tins. That's a capsule, right?
[that is not the reason]
[Only so much guessing you can do from this side of it, though. She starts to comb her fingers through her hair and part it for braiding.]
Yeah. They've got funny hotels all over Tokyo with these kinds of beds with them. They call them capsule hotels? They're for like... businessmen? And people that travel a lot and don't need a big fancy room.
I think it's called that 'cause it's like a bunch of little beds squished together like those little fishies you find in tins. That's a capsule, right?
[that is not the reason]
[Well, to be honest, the first thing Raven does when he wakes up is get something to eat. But then he makes enough to also bring breakfast up for Hikaru!! So don't judge him.
He's actually a bit alarmed when he finds the door not locked but clearly blocked by something, and lo it's exactly what he expected, Hikaru's unconscious body. He practically drops the tray of food on the floor when he manages to get the door open, setting it down heavily as he crouches down to try and shake her awake.]
Hey, hey, Hikaru, rise and shine darling-
[Trying to sound nonchalant but there's the edge of anxiety as the phrase "Please don't be dead" plays on repeat in his head.]
He's actually a bit alarmed when he finds the door not locked but clearly blocked by something, and lo it's exactly what he expected, Hikaru's unconscious body. He practically drops the tray of food on the floor when he manages to get the door open, setting it down heavily as he crouches down to try and shake her awake.]
Hey, hey, Hikaru, rise and shine darling-
[Trying to sound nonchalant but there's the edge of anxiety as the phrase "Please don't be dead" plays on repeat in his head.]
[whispers raven people might be dead what are you doing
She is, somehow, looking worse, all that harder to rouse. But she's still warm, still breathing, her color still perfectly fine even for how much of a tired ragdoll she currently is curled up near the door.
It takes a minute, so rip Raven's heart rate, but her eyes will eventually flutter, face screwing up at the light from the inn hallway.]
...Nn...R... Raven...?
She is, somehow, looking worse, all that harder to rouse. But she's still warm, still breathing, her color still perfectly fine even for how much of a tired ragdoll she currently is curled up near the door.
It takes a minute, so rip Raven's heart rate, but her eyes will eventually flutter, face screwing up at the light from the inn hallway.]
...Nn...R... Raven...?
[...
The door is open.
The door is open.
Hikaru's eyes suddenly widen, filling with tears as she collapses onto Raven's lap.]
Raven-san! Y-you're... you're really okay, you're....
[Time to cry.]
The door is open.
The door is open.
Hikaru's eyes suddenly widen, filling with tears as she collapses onto Raven's lap.]
Raven-san! Y-you're... you're really okay, you're....
[Time to cry.]
[Well at least he gets to be relieved for a moment as she does finally rouse, but oh god now emotions are happening. He’s not prepared for this!!?? Patting her back a little awkwardly. It’s ok you’re ok please do not cry.]
Sorry, old Raven lost track of time and the door locked on me... Why were ya sleepin’ on the floor?
Sorry, old Raven lost track of time and the door locked on me... Why were ya sleepin’ on the floor?
[It's not a horribly long cry, at least, more a ripple of exhausted emotion that has to just spill out without stopping. She blubbers a little incoherently at first, fingers gripping at the fabric of his trousers, the edges of his coats, bunching them up in her grip.
But she's hiccuping for breath as his hand rests against her back, loosening one palm so that she can rub her forearm against her face, still as uncoordinated a mess as she'd been the night before.]
The door... the door locked, and I-I called for you, for anybody... I was pounding from the other side until I... I got too tired...
Did... nobody hear me...?
But she's hiccuping for breath as his hand rests against her back, loosening one palm so that she can rub her forearm against her face, still as uncoordinated a mess as she'd been the night before.]
The door... the door locked, and I-I called for you, for anybody... I was pounding from the other side until I... I got too tired...
Did... nobody hear me...?
Edited (my SMALL TAGS) 2020-10-09 19:24 (UTC)
[Honestly he's been so used to kids that are compelled to act more grown up than they are that this is such a weird experience. He keeps thinking about how Rita, closest to Hikaru's age, would never do this. But then, maybe this is how kids should be? Should be allowed to be.]
I didn't... If I had I woulda called back and told you we were okay.
[HE FEELS BAD... She exhausted herself worrying after him. Anyway, he's just gonna move to try and wipe her face with his sleeve because that's fine, probably.]
That boy better have a good excuse fer leavin' you to fend for yourself like this.
[He just needs something to be irritated at right now, honestly.]
I didn't... If I had I woulda called back and told you we were okay.
[HE FEELS BAD... She exhausted herself worrying after him. Anyway, he's just gonna move to try and wipe her face with his sleeve because that's fine, probably.]
That boy better have a good excuse fer leavin' you to fend for yourself like this.
[He just needs something to be irritated at right now, honestly.]
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