He... he hates himself a lot. He thinks he's stupid. That he's weak. That he's useless. And I think that... that comes from a part of him that hurts so bad, he's gotta prove it's right, even if he has to make it look that way.
[She wrings her hands against her knees.]
I... I don't think he's a kind person at all, Ochako-chan. He lies all the time, and he's really mean, and he says that he can't ever, ever be honest. Like he thinks something will happen if he doesn't make it all just... a made up story.
But no matter what he says about himself... he's really, really smart. He thinks about so many things and how they could go. He's thoughtful, even if he's really, really bad at showing it, or doesn't want to show it. He doesn't want bad things... he just... wants the world to see him as nothing special, because that's how he sees himself.
[ she stands quietly, listening close as hikaru speaks. all of what she says... it lines up. ochako has only spoken to kano a few times herself, but he'd said some things and done others that struck her as odd.
and when she replies, it's slow, deliberate in how she chooses her words. ]
I think... that even if you're right, and he is all of those things, that he can still be kind, in his own way. We just... have to learn how to see how he does it.
[ is kano nice? no. is he honest? no. but that doesn't automatically mean he's a terrible person, even if he tries to be. ochako believes that. ]
If... If I'm right, and he knew who hurt them, then he went out of his way to take the blame for them. I don't know why he'd do that, exactly, or if it's even remotely true, but... if it is, then I don't think we can say he isn't kind at all. And even if I'm wrong about that, he still encouraged me to think about things more, while we're here - about why things here are the way they are, or what the reason for certain things happening could be. We can't just... ignore those things.
[ she gives a soft, sad smile. ]
Especially if he really does think so little of himself. Don't people like that just need more support?
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[She wrings her hands against her knees.]
I... I don't think he's a kind person at all, Ochako-chan. He lies all the time, and he's really mean, and he says that he can't ever, ever be honest. Like he thinks something will happen if he doesn't make it all just... a made up story.
But no matter what he says about himself... he's really, really smart. He thinks about so many things and how they could go. He's thoughtful, even if he's really, really bad at showing it, or doesn't want to show it. He doesn't want bad things... he just... wants the world to see him as nothing special, because that's how he sees himself.
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and when she replies, it's slow, deliberate in how she chooses her words. ]
I think... that even if you're right, and he is all of those things, that he can still be kind, in his own way. We just... have to learn how to see how he does it.
[ is kano nice? no. is he honest? no. but that doesn't automatically mean he's a terrible person, even if he tries to be. ochako believes that. ]
If... If I'm right, and he knew who hurt them, then he went out of his way to take the blame for them. I don't know why he'd do that, exactly, or if it's even remotely true, but... if it is, then I don't think we can say he isn't kind at all. And even if I'm wrong about that, he still encouraged me to think about things more, while we're here - about why things here are the way they are, or what the reason for certain things happening could be. We can't just... ignore those things.
[ she gives a soft, sad smile. ]
Especially if he really does think so little of himself. Don't people like that just need more support?