Yeah. On the PHS. It gets all messed up, so I couldn't understand a lot of it, but... he tried to warn me about something. I just don't know what it was.
[She still seems pretty chill about this, all things considered.]
[She nods, her tone barely shifting, despite the heaviness of the topic.]
You saw it too, huh...? I'm real sorry if it was confusing.
...
Cefiro can't exist without a Pillar. Their last Pillar... well, she was killed. And nobody really knew how to find a new one. Only that they needed to be someone with a strong enough heart. But until they find one... it's gonna keep vanishing, until there's nothing left.
[Her hands stay in her lap, relaxed.]
It's why I need to go back. No matter what. I can't let that happen.
[ even so, she listens closely, with a frown. a whole country (is it a country?) is vanishing, huh? it's hard to imagine, even after witnessing part of it like this. ]
We'll get everyone back to where they belong. [ somehow. ] And... maybe some of us will be able to help you afterward. The more people on your side, the more likely you'll find a new pillar in time, right?
That doesn't sound fair... [ but of course, hikaru would know better than anyone. ] There can't be more than one pillar? You could support each other that way, and then the world wouldn't have to depend on just one person.
That's what I hope, too. That maybe I can find a way to change it somehow, without making the world suffer. Because a place like Cefiro... I think it's a beautiful idea. A world where belief is your power. I think that deserves to be shared by everyone.
But right now, it can only be one person. They have to have the strongest heart above everybody else around them, to help calm the fear of the people and shape the world to something good.
[ ochako nods. it does sound nice, but with that kind of structure - it must be horribly unstable, right? to rely on just one person, and to fail if they even begin to think of anything else... ]
[She shakes her head.] The people didn't choose me. Nobody can choose the Pillar. It's kind of hard to explain.
It's... not really what I thought would happen. It's not what I wanted, exactly. But... what I do want is to help Cefiro, because it's a place Emeraude loved so much, and a place I love, too.
Then... I hope you do find a way to help - one that means not giving up everything else.
[ she doesn't know if there's much more to say here, so ochako wonders if she should go, and leave hikaru to her thoughts. before she can, a bubble catches her in the arm before she can, and they're treated to another memory (2:06-11:36 & 13:44-15:37):
“You’re amazing, Deku-kun. I keep seeing more and more amazing sides of you. During the cavalry battle, I thought it’d be easier to team up with friends, but now that I think about it, I might’ve been trying to rely on you.”
Your hands unfold, and you push yourself from the table to your feet. It’s almost time.
“That’s why, when Iida-kun said he’d challenge you, it actually made me feel a little embarrassed. Everyone’s facing the future and trying their hardest. That means we’re all rivals, right? So…” You turn, smiling, to give Iida-kun and Deku-kun a thumbs up. Maybe, if you sound confident, if you tell yourself that you’re not afraid, they won’t notice the way you tremble. “Let’s meet in the finals.”
With that, you take the field. Cheers echo through the stadium as Present Mic makes the introductions, and you try not to think about how brutal Bakugou can be while he stares you down.
“You’re the one that makes things float, right, Round face?” There’s a flare of both disbelief and annoyance - he still doesn’t know your name? “If you’re gonna withdraw, do it now. You won’t get off with just an ‘ouch.’”
You grit your teeth and take a deep breath, mentally going over your plan. Strike fast, make him float, and the advantage will be yours. You refuse to back down, and wait for the signal.
From the box comes Present Mic’s voice: “Eighth match, start!”
You’re moving instantly, quirk ready, body low as you run straight for Bakugou, shouting your answer. “Withdrawing isn’t a choice!”
“Then, die.”
Remember what Deku said - he always opens with a right hook. Sure enough, as you draw closer, he lifts his right hand. But you’re ready. If you just dodge that first attack -
Bakugou sets off the first explosion, and despite your preparations, your reaction time still isn’t good enough, and you can’t avoid it. Smoke billows out over the field, as you try to rethink the plan. Maybe if you… yes, that could work. You just have to keep at it, until the right moment comes. While Bakugou taunts you again, you start to pull your plan together.
He falls for the first trap, utterly destroying your jacket where you’d left it floating. That’s fine; you use the distraction to get behind him, reaching for his back.
And Bakugou sends you tumbling back instead. You catch yourself before you can go out of bounds, and run toward him again. He destroys the field where you stood, so you take another route instead, not even bothering to avoid the debris as you go. Again, an explosion blocks your way.
It keeps going. Every direction you try, every distraction you try to set up. It all fails, and you’re thrown back every single time. And yet you keep trying, stubbornly refusing to back down, relentless even as the crowd begins to yell and deride him for bullying a small girl who is so obviously outmatched - especially then. The jeers don’t stop until you hear Aizawa-sensei’s voice echo through the stadium, but you tune it out, focusing entirely on Bakugou, until finally…
“It’s about time… I think…” Bakugou readies himself for another attack, as you take a familiar stance. “Thanks, Bakugou-kun… for not letting your guard down…” You see the surprise in his eyes, and finally, you think you may actually have a chance. As you press your fingertips together, you yell at him from across the field, “I’m gonna win!”
All at once, the tonnes of the debris you’ve collected using Bakugou’s own attacks, begins to fall from the sky like a meteor shower, released from your quirk’s influence. It’s a desperate, last-ditch plan if you’ve ever had one, but you’re going to make it count. Unafraid, you race forward, confident that no matter what Bakugou does, he won’t be able to avoid everything at once. There will be an opening, one way or another. You can actually win this, you’re so close -
You’re wrong.
A massive explosion, bigger than any Bakugou has used before, breaks your advance and sends you flying. The landing is rough, painful as you roll back on the ground from the shockwave. You push yourself back up, body shaking with both fear and exertion, as the realization sets in.
“Since you’re friends with Deku, I thought you’d be up to something.”
One shot. For a moment, you’re utterly frozen with disbelief. That was your only plan, and with one shot, Bakugou destroyed it all. It hardly even slowed him down. So how can you…?
...No. No, you can’t give up. You won’t give up. You force yourself to your feet, reminding yourself that Deku-kun wouldn’t give up, either.
But your body doesn’t listen. One step, and it collapses under you, and you fall back to the ground, trembling. No, not yet, not yet,, you tell yourself, desperately trying to reach Bakugou. You can’t give up, you won’t -
You have to do this, for mom and dad. You have to become a hero, for them.
Your vision blurs. You’re barely conscious when Bakugou is declared the winner, and the medical drones place you on the stretcher and lead you away. Everything else passes by in a daze - the healing from Recovery Girl, the subsequent lecture, the walk back to the waiting room. When Deku-kun comes to prepare for his own match, you laugh it off easily, playing up the frustration of losing and falling back on the usual, bubbly veneer that puts everyone at ease just as easily as it makes them underestimate you. Your phone starts to vibrate as you talk - it’s Dad, and your heart sinks - but Deku-kun’s here, so you keep smiling, and reassure him that you haven’t given up yet. Before you know it, it’s time for Deku-kun’s next match, and you wish him luck.
Once the door shuts behind him, your face falls, and you flip open the phone. You take a deep breath as you wait for your father to answer.
“Sorry about not picking up earlier, Dad.”
His answer is as light and excited as you expected, and somehow, that makes it worse. “It’s fine, sorry for calling when you’re busy. Your mom and I watched you on TV. You were so close! But you were amazing!”
“It wasn’t that close. And I wasn’t amazing.” By contrast, your own voice is tired, defeated, and full of shame as you list all the things you did wrong. “I rushed too much at the end, too. I didn’t have a plan for what to do after that, either. I was completely beaten.”
“Is that so?” His voice sobers a bit, but doesn’t lose that optimism she’s so used to hearing. “I don’t understand complicated things, but just because you lost doesn’t mean your path’s been closed off, right? There’s always next year, right?”
“The further you advance, the more you can show how well you do against different types.” You voice wavers, tears welling up in your eyes. “The scouts can’t tell with just one match.”
“What’re you in such a hurry for?”
“I mean…” You sniffle, and a thread of desperation weaves its way into your voice as you struggle to speak around the lump in your throat. “I want to hurry and help you guys…”
That’s all you ever wanted, wasn’t it? Dad always said to follow your dreams, and you are, but at the heart of it… you’ve always just wanted to help your parents, more than anything in the world. And now it feels like you’ve taken two steps back.
“Ochako, it’s fine even if you don’t rush.” As the tears begin to fall, your grip on the phone tightens, and you hang on to Dad’s words like they’re a lifeline. “You feeling that way shows you’re kind, so I know you’ll be a great hero.”
It hurts so much to have let him down this time. But somehow, his faith still hasn’t wavered at all, and that alone makes you cry even harder. Because he’s right, isn’t he? Even if you failed this time, it’s not over. You can still keep trying, and you will. You have to - for the two people who matter most. For your mom and dad, who never stopped believing in you.
by the time it fades, all ochako can do is sigh. ]
It's a complicated memory, one that she knows isn't hers. But there's barely a reaction at first, a subtle widening of her eyes, but staying quiet. To have to hide a part of yourself for the people around you isn't a new feeling. It's being so reserved, having so much doubt in one's self while still forcing herself forward, that has Hikaru pausing.]
Your parents really love you an awful lot, huh, Ochako-chan?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ she pauses, considering. ]
Did you leave a message for anyone, like that note suggested?
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Schwann was the only one who wrote back.
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[She still seems pretty chill about this, all things considered.]
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They've been glitching a lot lately, haven't they? It must mean the disturbances are getting worse.
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We still can't give up. No matter what's actually going on, or how bad it gets.
I don't want to see everything fall apart again.
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You saw it too, huh...? I'm real sorry if it was confusing.
...
Cefiro can't exist without a Pillar. Their last Pillar... well, she was killed. And nobody really knew how to find a new one. Only that they needed to be someone with a strong enough heart. But until they find one... it's gonna keep vanishing, until there's nothing left.
[Her hands stay in her lap, relaxed.]
It's why I need to go back. No matter what. I can't let that happen.
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[ even so, she listens closely, with a frown. a whole country (is it a country?) is vanishing, huh? it's hard to imagine, even after witnessing part of it like this. ]
We'll get everyone back to where they belong. [ somehow. ] And... maybe some of us will be able to help you afterward. The more people on your side, the more likely you'll find a new pillar in time, right?
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[Said like they're talking about the weather and not about whatever the world the Pillar even is.]
It's not prying, though. I don't mind talking about any of it.
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[ didn't hikaru say in the memory that the pillar has to live alone, without love? ]
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[Oblivious.]
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The Pillar has to support the entire world with their prayers. If they can't pray for Cefiro, and only Cefiro, then the world will start to vanish.
So the Pillar needs to be alone.
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But right now, it can only be one person. They have to have the strongest heart above everybody else around them, to help calm the fear of the people and shape the world to something good.
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Would that be your wish, if your team wins?
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I don't need a wish, Ochako-chan. I believe in the people who love Cefiro to help me.
I can't let them down. So I'm gonna make sure we all make it out of here. I want to be able to hold my head high when everything is over.
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It's... not really what I thought would happen. It's not what I wanted, exactly. But... what I do want is to help Cefiro, because it's a place Emeraude loved so much, and a place I love, too.
That's what's more important to me.
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[ she doesn't know if there's much more to say here, so ochako wonders if she should go, and leave hikaru to her thoughts. before she can, a bubble catches her in the arm before she can, and they're treated to another memory (2:06-11:36 & 13:44-15:37):by the time it fades, all ochako can do is sigh. ]
HOW DID I NEVER SEE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING
It's a complicated memory, one that she knows isn't hers. But there's barely a reaction at first, a subtle widening of her eyes, but staying quiet. To have to hide a part of yourself for the people around you isn't a new feeling. It's being so reserved, having so much doubt in one's self while still forcing herself forward, that has Hikaru pausing.]
Your parents really love you an awful lot, huh, Ochako-chan?
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[ already the memory of that conversation is fading. ]
All I know is that I wanted to help them.