Ehh... Living in doubt is really no good, you know? Even just a little bit, it's super tiresome! It's better if you just do what you want and think what you want, and face the consequences after.
[ It's a happier way to live. It's a way of coping, he knows, and he encourages it in others. All self-doubt does is bring you down, it's no good. ]
I promised myself I'd take those words Raven said to heart. That I'd think about what I wanted, and what it was doing to others' feelings for me to pursue that.
I can't have both, Shuuya. And doubting what you know isn't a bad thing, I don't think. People learn and get inspired to act because they need to make up their minds.
Doubt's only bad if you can't use it to learn, or if you let it eat you up. That's what I think, anyway.
[ There must be some middle ground between "fuck what other people think" and "hey, consider people's feelings, maybe" but Kano hasn't found it yet, still wanting the best of both worlds. ]
Or, like, it gets so overwhelming you gotta run away to the woods and hide so people don't see you being a crybaby?
Haha! Is that why? Look at you, goin' on about wanting to take the time away to compose yourself or whatever! But you're really just embarrassed~ Wow! Haha, how embarrassing~
[ And maybe she hates people treating her like a kid. But also, crying is embarrassing. ]
[Ugh... she scrunches in on herself a little more, letting herself slump to the ground with her arms still wrapped against herself. The dog's ears are flipped back as its eyes avert from Kano.]
I don't like seeing how people look at me when they think I'm gonna cry. I know they just care, but I don't... I don't like it. Being a burden all the time.
[ It sure sucks being a crybaby and a burden all the time, and he can remember just how hard he and his siblings worked on that, when they all used to be such crybabies who would start wailing at the drop of a hat. His brother grew up to be a fine young man able to take things in stride without getting upset. His sister... punches whoever makes her cry, which is 100% of the time Kano.
As for him, he got good at hiding, and good at smiling. ]
I got just the thing for that~ But we gotta sneak out of the trees for a bit. Be out in public! Think you can handle it, or are you gonna keep on crying?
[She just gives him a look, one of cautious suspicion through how red she is, an intense desire to trust combatting with the fact that he'd plastered another one of those smiles on his face.]
I'll... be okay. [She doesn't look it, at all. But her voice is steady.] What did you wanna do?
[ He has to take a moment and seriously contemplate on whether he wants to extend hand holding rights to anybody else besides Cater.
But, in the end, he takes it, scarred hand in scarred hand and pulling her off towards the town in with the confident stride of somebody who knows where he's going, but also the constant glancing around of somebody who does not. He hasn't been out here before, okay, there is just a general idea of where he wants to go. ]
[Her grip stays firm, but submissive, letting him take the lead without letting him go completely. It's... strange, almost, to have his hand in hers and not to have to fight for it.]
Has it been like this out here the whole time you've been here? With the castles and the forest?
[ Kano has a wet noodle grip, selfishly forcing Hikaru to hold on for as long as she wants to, but liable to slip away otherwise. He definitely isn't somebody used to hand holding, or knowing how hard to squeeze is too hard and so he doesn't. ]
Yep, sure was! Kinda obvious, isn't it? Like, the one place back there that was always there, but we could never reach it?
[You are incredibly lucky that she hasn't actually looked around the house in this thread because she'll straight up believe this until she sees what the living are doing. Congrats.
She will hold, then! She is too much of a tomboy to lace their fingers together so he is safe from that much commitment. As long as he isn't actively pulling away from her, she keeps her grip right where it is, content.]
Do you just never leave that big white house all that much? You look like you're... [lost.] --looking for something.
[ He hates leaving home; he would happily lock himself in his bedroom and lie around and do nothing all day, that really is the ideal. But there is no such rest being dead. ]
I sure am looking for something, though! Coulda sworn it was on main street. Let me know if you spot the jailhouse?
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[ Wow! How dare she imply anything of the sort ]
You already put a lot of thought into this sorta stuff, right? So, like, you don't need those maybes.
[ Kano is all about cutting out frivolous filler words, don't you know... ]
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Her mouth quirks up a little, but she folds her hands in front of her, shaking her head.]
The last time I told myself what I felt was absolute, I made a bad mistake and got somebody I really liked in trouble.
I'd rather address my feelings as something that can be changed. It doesn't mean they will. It doesn't mean I won't have hope.
But there's a lot I don't know, especially about something like... being emptied of everything you are. All I can do is guess.
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[ It's a happier way to live. It's a way of coping, he knows, and he encourages it in others. All self-doubt does is bring you down, it's no good. ]
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I promised myself I'd take those words Raven said to heart. That I'd think about what I wanted, and what it was doing to others' feelings for me to pursue that.
I can't have both, Shuuya. And doubting what you know isn't a bad thing, I don't think. People learn and get inspired to act because they need to make up their minds.
Doubt's only bad if you can't use it to learn, or if you let it eat you up. That's what I think, anyway.
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Or, like, it gets so overwhelming you gotta run away to the woods and hide so people don't see you being a crybaby?
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She goes red almost instantly, crossing her arms tight.]
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[ And maybe she hates people treating her like a kid. But also, crying is embarrassing. ]
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[Ugh... she scrunches in on herself a little more, letting herself slump to the ground with her arms still wrapped against herself. The dog's ears are flipped back as its eyes avert from Kano.]
I don't like seeing how people look at me when they think I'm gonna cry. I know they just care, but I don't... I don't like it. Being a burden all the time.
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As for him, he got good at hiding, and good at smiling. ]
I got just the thing for that~ But we gotta sneak out of the trees for a bit. Be out in public! Think you can handle it, or are you gonna keep on crying?
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I'll... be okay. [She doesn't look it, at all. But her voice is steady.] What did you wanna do?
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Secret~ It's no fun if you know everything beforehand- it ruins the surprise! Now, are we going or not?
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She looks down at her lap, before her expression grows firm, nodding ...
...and holding out that same scarred hand for him to take.]
Show me, then?
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But, in the end, he takes it, scarred hand in scarred hand and pulling her off towards the town in with the confident stride of somebody who knows where he's going, but also the constant glancing around of somebody who does not. He hasn't been out here before, okay, there is just a general idea of where he wants to go. ]
me going WEHHH into the microphone
Has it been like this out here the whole time you've been here? With the castles and the forest?
the microphone wehs back
Yep, sure was! Kinda obvious, isn't it? Like, the one place back there that was always there, but we could never reach it?
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She will hold, then! She is too much of a tomboy to lace their fingers together so he is safe from that much commitment. As long as he isn't actively pulling away from her, she keeps her grip right where it is, content.]
Do you just never leave that big white house all that much? You look like you're... [lost.] --looking for something.
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[ He hates leaving home; he would happily lock himself in his bedroom and lie around and do nothing all day, that really is the ideal. But there is no such rest being dead. ]
I sure am looking for something, though! Coulda sworn it was on main street. Let me know if you spot the jailhouse?
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[She squints, looking around. This town is so colorful, it's hard to imagine them having a jail...]
Did it have a sign or anything? Or the weird bars in the windows?