REDACTABLE - Shuuya

[heartablaze]

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WEEK ZERO - SATURDAY

[heartablaze]

[She hadn't been able to take a good look at the Emporium at first, too busy looking for someone that she couldn't seem to find. But it's a new morning, and the name she's looking for isn't on any of the doors at the inn. Her heart aches a bit... so clearly, that means it's time to explore somewhere that has a bunch of stuff to look at.

She's making a beeline for the stuffed animals when she spots that she isn't alone in the section filled with toys. What's he doing? Doesn't matter. She's got a stuffed fish under one arm as she trots over to say hello.]

Do you know if they have any more dogs?? Or little wings I can put on this one?

[suddenlybees]

[ What's Kano doing over at the toys? Shifting through the pile of stuffed animals and like... poking and prodding them in the stomach trying to find something himself. ]

Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, I'm finished with these ones, so you can go ahead~

[ There's a searched pile and a non-searched pile and in the searched pile there is a floppy brown dog and a fluffy white one, both with slightly misshapen stomachs. ]

Did you want to make a flying fish or something? I think there's a bird somewhere we can reassemble?

[heartablaze]

[i'm afraid but unfortunately hikaru is not and the Reassemble part of that message just flies straight over her head]

How'd you know? Fyula's wings aren't really a bird, though, it's like... uhhhmmm...

Like a dragonfly???

[She's crouching down to take a look at the dogs. She loves the white one, but... what in the world's going on with the stomach? Is it just made to be floppy like this????]

[suddenlybees]

[ It's super floppy, like the stuffing's gone. Otherwise, it's fine? Still cute. Not cut open or anything. ]

Dragonfly, dragonfly... Might have to improvise a little on that, but I think we can make it happen! Let's see, we want to go over here...

[ To the gift shop section, rooting through all the trinkets. ]

How big are they supposed to be? Flappy? Floppy?

[heartablaze]

[She holds out the fish in front of her, face screwing up in thought for a moment as she considers, before holding out her hands for an approximate size. Big-ish.]

He's a big fish.

[Back to doggo time. How sad. All dogs are valid, even if they are mushy.]

Um, hey, do you think they didn't finish some of these doggies? They're supposed to be really soft and squishy, right?

w1, monday

[suddenlybees]

[ wherever Hikaru is, Kano shouts at her from a healthy distance away, because wow this feeling is like last week's but WORSE ]

Did you learn the worm yet??

[heartablaze]

[Oh hello.

She'd been wanting to find Kano anyway, given what happened to Hajime, so the urge to be around him isn't unusual whatsoever.

Still, a wave of shame keeps her from breaking the distance too much, taking a couple steps forward before instantly stopping, letting her hands drop to her sides.]

I ...No. I tried to find Hajime-chan to talk about it, but...

...

[She exhales out the nose.]

I'll find someone else, Nico-kun. Someone else has gotta know it.

I promised I would.

[suddenlybees]

[ It really tickles him that Hikaru is trying so hard on something so stupid. Even if they're talking about Hajime's death, Kano lets his lips curl into a grin. ]

You're really giving it your all, aren'tcha? Don't you already know one obvious person you could ask?

[heartablaze]

[Mm. Her stomach sours a little at that smile, her eyes flitting to the ground.]

Asking you is cheating.

WEEK ONE - SATURDAY - POST-TRIAL

[heartablaze]

[In she comes, still in her pajamas, eyes red from crying on him. She hadn't said a word after the vote, though, and even now she stays silent, her sword still in her hands as she approaches the barrier of his confinement.

Carefully, she lowers the sword to her side as she sinks to her knees. She looks tired, hurt, and surprisingly angry.

How we doin, fam, you sitting somewhere weird or making paper airplanes out of death brochures or something]

[suddenlybees]

[ He has been moved to the lounge, inside an invisible barrier where he's lying on the ground next to the sofa instead of on top of it. He does not get any death brochures ): just a ceiling to stare at and whatever platitudes from people he's steeling himself for tonight.

But when Hikaru comes, he shifts over to lean against the barrier. Sorry, this is the best he can do for now, but tomorrow, partner effects will be over, and she'll be free of him. ]

[heartablaze]

[She reaches out to touch the barrier where his body meets hers, her fist curling weakly. It's not enough - she wants to be able to hug him genuinely, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he spits insults at her and laughs at her mistakes. This... this almost feels worse than not seeing him at all.

...

She swallows.]

Did... you want this to happen?

Is that why you wouldn't say anything?

[suddenlybees]

[ She had her chance back at trial, and now time's moved on and this is it. Now it's just a countdown. ]

What am I supposed to say? Tomorrow...

[ He falls quiet, and closes his mouth. ]

WEEK FIVE - MONDAY

[heartablaze]

[From here

...

She grows quiet as she leans her weight back into the tree she had been hiding against, letting her hand rest against the absense in her hair where her braid once rested, eyes trained to the branches above them. The dog's flames have finally started to settle a bit, less a roaring inferno and looking more like the fiery mane of a lion across the golden body of a wolf.

When she speaks again, it's quieter, a trace of bitterness that never, ever entered her words before.]

Someone... did something to me, last week. I think it might have been because I got so angry about Yoshizawa-chan, about how awful it must have been for her to die, even if if was needed...

Nobody talked to me about it. But... I guess somebody decided it was better for me to just... not do that anymore, maybe.

I couldn't fight it at all. Not even when someone killed me. [She lets out an unsteady breath, her fists tight.] This... is the first time I've been able to feel like myself for days, and all I feel is angry. But...

I knew I wouldn't have a place to talk or ask for comfort. Not after what my mistakes did. And everyone here has been through worse. It's why I wanted to be alone, so I... I could be angry on my own, instead of doing something I would regret later.

[suddenlybees]

[ There's a glance at her hair, a frown as- for a moment- he thought she meant somebody chopped off her hair in retaliation for being so worked up about Yoshizawa. The girls he knows take considerable pride in their hair; getting it chopped off against their will would definitely be a little dysphoric. ]

Stupid. It's not like only one person can be mad at a time, so who cares what everybody else has gone though? Being angry at other people is okay too. So is revenge.

[ Gestures at poor Vezda who Kano took it upon himself to bully on somebody else's behalf... Who did this to you, Hikaru, he will bully them too. ]

[heartablaze]

Revenge isn't what I want. And people looking at me with sad eyes... they're already gonna be upset enough that I died. I don't intend to lie about it or anything, but... I don't want somebody doing something stupid on my behalf, you know?

[she is so tired]

I don't know who it was. I just... felt different, and it lasted the whole week. Everybody thought something was wrong with me, because I couldn't, um... react to anything, I guess. My emotions were still there. I saw a lot of things, a lot of memories, that I... I felt really angry about. Things that hurt or made me sad. And if people asked, I could sort of talk about it.

But I couldn't... I couldn't say anything, or do anything, with those feelings. It's like somebody took a pillow and smothered everything I actually felt, so all I could do was just be calm. I couldn't even tell them anything was wrong, because I didn't feel it was unusual...

[Her face tightens in very palatable, sour hurt.]

It felt... different, than the splintering. Chijin said once that there were roles with special abilities, things that worked different than an item.

But... all I could think about, in the couple moments I ever thought it might be wrong... all I could think about was you.

[suddenlybees]

[ Him, huh? He knows why she thought of him, considering the last time they met and what came of it, but he can't help but laugh anyways, quiet, humorless, bitter. ]

You've never felt that way before? After everything you were forced to do? The emptiness, the disconnect...

[ The way you have to force yourself just to appear normal, so nobody notices and nobody knows. Little things like a smile or a frown. Knowing this is how you're supposed to feel and this is how you're supposed to act, but you can't feel and acting feels like acting.

He laughs because it's supposed to be funny. If somebody had done that to him, he wouldn't have felt any different at all. ]

At least it wore off, even if it took a whole week. You can yell and cry now, with nothing holding you back.

WEEK SIX - TUESDAY AFTERNOON/NIGHT

[heartablaze]

[She is exhausted from bleeding and from drowning trying to find a fish and from having to talk to what seems like 800 people, so when evening comes around, she's grabbing a blanket and a roll of bandages and looking for Kano.

Neck wrap time, then nap, then maybe they can talk. Maybe.]

[suddenlybees]

[ I have no idea what Kano is doing on Tuesday but anything involving being outside and not face down on the ground is exhausting, and he's making it up by being flat on the ground upstairs in the leader summoning room just sort of lying in a pool of blood and occasionally dipping his finger into the blood and drawing on a piece of paper. This was the very first thing he ever drew Goat, imagine this but a dozen times and also in blood. ]

[heartablaze]

[Kano that is so gross... She's got a tired smile on her face as she throws the blanket onto the desk for a moment, carefully plopping down on her knees despite how much blood is here. It still turns her stomach, but... he isn't dying right this second. She has to focus on that.]

Hey, Shuuya. Swan-san found us some bandages.

Do you want me to see if we can get your head to stay still a little more?

[suddenlybees]

[ It's never ending finger paint, and he doesn't have to worry about his head falling off if he's lying on the ground. Though he has to admit that it feels gross with his ear all wet, that somehow bothers him more than the fact that he's stuck in this eternal state of dying.

Rolling over onto his back to free up his hands, he pinches his fingers together and touches them, pointer and thumb to pointer and thumb, and then draws them apart. With one hand, he draws waves in the air, across his line of sight. ]

WEEK SEVEN - FRIDAY

[heartablaze]

[wow! That was a lot!

She's being quiet as she looks for him, a suspicious feeling in her gut that he doesn't wanna be found. But she looks anyway. This close to their goal, and she wasn't about to abandon Kano now.

Where'd you go, blanket burrito?]

[suddenlybees]

[ Blanket burrito is trying to find somewhere dark and quiet to take his afternoon nap, thanks. You know what's stupid? All the rooms at the inn having double beds with one occupant and none of them open with his PHS /:

So eventually where Kano curls up is the Planetarium. Dark but filled with light at the same time, thousands upon thousands of pinpoints of light waiting to fall out of the sky and turn into wishes. ]

[heartablaze]

[It's almost bittersweet, to find him in here. But she's gonna turn on her heel and go hound somebody (probably claude? probably claude) until she can grab a blanket from one of the rooms and come straight back.

She doesn't even say anything. She just drops one half of the blanket over him before curling up on the floor underneath the other half with an exhausted sigh.

Naptime.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Imagine if Kano just slept for 24 hours, he wouldn't have gotten yelled at and he would have been well rested in exchange, wow, hindsight.

But the day's events have passed and he finds himself back here after whatever the hell it was that happened on Saturday. There is no sense of accomplishment. Just the familiar sense of dread, like sitting in the lobby the night before his execution, like standing on the edge of the roof staring at the snake. ]