[ After dinosaur crimes, Hua Cheng has to get fixed up - and it takes a bit of time, all things considered. But then, there's not much else to do but mingle, but wait, knowing that the following night will inevitably bring more death. Preparations have to be made.
But as blind as he might be, right now, he isn't deaf. As he's making his way through, checking over things - to "see" the state of them, so to speak, before they're forced to go running through underbrush and traps to find bodies and clues - he freezes.
The absolute anguish practically echoes within him, resonating with something in his core.
But for as much as he recognizes the outcry, he recognizes the voice, and it's... strange, to feel a sense of dread, for someone that isn't Dianxia. ]
Hikaru? [ His own voice raising, he moves, quickfooted and certain despite the impairment, until his boot connects with something that skitters a bit. A step, two, three, he leans down - the second try, his fingers brush the PHS, and he picks it up.
It doesn't answer anything, but Hua Cheng takes it with him, as he comes to the waterfall. Damn this place that he can't see her, even if he knows she's there. ] Hikaru!
[She hears a voice, the calling of what sounds like a name. But she doesn't answer, doesn't lift her head at first, tears hot and breath rapid. It's only when the sound repeats, louder and more urgently, that she forces herself to look up, to see a man who doesn't seem to see her.
Her sobbing grips her, forces her breath out far too fast. She doesn't know what he's doing out here... but it's something concrete in a blur of panic, and she raises her voice despite how broken it echoes on the rock.]
[ There - that's all it takes, at least. Her cries, her sobs, and her broken voice outweigh the sound of the water on the rocks in the face of urgency. With all the confidence that brought him here in the first place, and the genuine worry that gripped him when realization sunk in, he moves towards her saying his name.
There's little regards for the rocks on his end, either. He drops down to her level, hardly feeling the shock of impact, empty hand reaching - almost offering - as he finds her. ]
[She reaches for him, wheezing for breath as her heart pounds like gunfire in her chest, doing her best to pull herself to him even as she weeps from behind her choking pace for air.
It's panic, forceful and violent, gripping her like she's never felt before, not even making it fully to his arms before her head drops against one of his knees, shuddering and sobbing.]
His entire expression turns dark, as his hand falls gently on her back when she falls forward. But he steadies himself, because - he has two hands, this time. A body that can offer comfort, instead of something formless and cold.
Carefully, he bows over her, drawing her up with him and into his arms. ]
[She tenses as his words fall to nothing but static once more, immediate and harsh. She knows, she knows now what this means -- alone it would not matter, might not have mattered, but...
...
His size so readily dwarfs hers, almost intimidating... and yet warm, and gentle, and...
...
She grips his robes with little resistance, burying her face into them fully and choking out another wail, the hiccuping gasps of a frightened child. She will need a couple minutes.]
[ The last time that someone came apart like this, he could do - nothing. Words could only do so much, and there was no means of helping, of enclosing someone in an embrace that could lock them away from the rest of the world, if only for a moment. For as foreign as this is, to have such a small body in his arms, he envelopes her in his arms regardless and closes his eye.
There isn't anything to see, anyways.
So while a ghost doesn't need to breathe, maybe the Realm has made him a shade of even that as it takes away everything precious that makes them who they are. He can work with that.
Hua Cheng presses her close, and takes a deep, steady breath. Holds it. Releases it, slowly. Repeats. ]
[It will take her some time to realize just what he's trying to do, why his breathing is so deep. But she slowly, slowly starts to try to calm herself, to shudder in a breath in time.
[ Slowly, as she comes down, he brings his hand up to cup the back of her head. She's so small, and now is all the more obvious, his breathing staying steady as she falls into it. ]
There you are. [ As if she's been found. But is there any finding what's lost, in a place like this? ]
[She presses her hands to her face, trembling. Her heart hurts, so badly that she feels like she might rip in two.]
I'm... I'm sorry, Hua-chan, I... I d-didn't mean to... [To concern him? To bother him? It all flickers across her mind, but she swallows it back. To have someone she knows, that she actually knows with a firm conscience, is a rock in her rapidly strengthening riptide, an anchor from keeping her from totally slipping under.]
You don't owe the world an apology for sorrow. [ Him, included.
Hua Cheng can't see her face, but her voice does enough for him. Slowly, his hand slides from the back of her head to frame one side of her neck, cool and gentle. If an anchor is what she needs, then he'll make himself one. ]
Stay steady. Your heart remembers what your mind's forgotten. [ And down, resting against where he can feel her rabbit-quick heart under his palm. ] You wouldn't feel like this if it didn't.
[Her heart remembers? Then why did it feel so all-encompassing, so hungry and horrible, to see the chasm before her that seemed to have come from nowhere...]
I...
I-I can't see nearly anything on my page in the book, Hua-chan... I can't read most of what I wrote for myself on the PHS, I-I can't understand things I know I left behind... I don't...
I-I don't remember who I am, Hua-chan...! I can't remember... I-I can't even understand what you say, and I...!!
[For just this moment, in his arms, she is terrified.]
[ How hollow a feeling, to forget who you are. To sit on the edge of everything you've lost, knowing it was there, but seeing nothing but unending darkness. ]
What you wrote down, what you left behind, I'll hold onto them for you.
You asked if you could help me remember Dianxia - I'll help you remember this. Everything you've told me, who you are, who you'll become.
[She swallows, gripping him tighter. It should hurt, but it doesn't. She tastes the blood, but the sting doesn't follow, and her heartache takes its place, sickening and sharp.]
I'm... I don't know who I am. But I'm a Magic Knight... I'm a Magic Knight, keeper of Rayearth... protector of... of... Emeraude, Princess Emeraude... and I killed her with my own hands... because I...
...
[It's all a blur, pieces that she feels fit into place only days ago now disappearing into the back of her mind.]
I... I need to protect Cefiro. I need to... and I'm replacing its Pillar, but I don't... I don't remember why...!
[ For as much as her grip should hurt, it doesn't - and even if it did, he's been through worse, has felt the sheer desperation to hold on to everything that is yours and known. Hua Cheng thinks of a wailing voice, seeking answers until it went raw.
The Realm gets worse and worse. But he slips both arms around her properly again, picking through the gaps to find what goes there, finding the story secure in his memories.]
You told me everything yesterday. You told me about Princess Emeraude, about her heartbreak, about the fall of Cefiro. Who you were, how you were called to be her blade, though you didn't know where you were being pointed until the end.
I know why you're going to become the Pillar. If the words won't reach you, I'll keep them safe. [ And her memories are an echo of a memory he hopes to never forget. I want to save the common people!
Something like saving the world, it doesn't really matter how you do it. But, although brave, it is foolish. Although foolish, it is brave.] Until they can resonate again, loud and clear, and you can return to your path.
[He'll be able to feel her tense when his words turn to nothing but silence - she hears Emeraude, and then it blanks completely, up until he mentions the Pillar.
If words won't reach you...]
I... I don't...
[She curls up her face against him, her voice quickly turning as frustrated as it is scared.]
What am I supposed to do when my mind doesn't remember but my... my heart knows it's gotta be a lie???? I know how old I am but I don't remember having a birthday... but I know, I know what a birthday is, and my heart knows it's supposed to be something happy, and I wouldn't just know without a reason! And it wouldn't make me feel this way if I didn't care, and I had to have something that made me care!!
[It hurts, it's hard, trying to fight two combating voices, of her mind crunbling to pieces and her heart pained to bursting, and he can likely hear that the tears are returning.]
I-I... I can't give up... I can't, I can't... but I c-can't choose both of them anymore, Hua-chan...!! I...
[Her breath hitches as she brings one of her hands to her face.]
I can't... I don't know if I want to... to keep holding onto what I think is true if I can't remember...
You're still you. [ If she doesn't remember everything, if she doesn't hold treasured memories in her mind's eye the same as she does her heart, if she's lost her name and her path...
It still doesn't change who she is. The little girl in the book shop, determined even while her heart was hurting, knowing what destiny she wanted to grasp in her hands - that's still in her core, even if it's buried deeper than her ribcage now. And who is he to say she's anything else than herself?
Even at rock bottom, Taizi Dianxia was still Taizi Dianxia. Even now, all that he is is still there.
Body in the abyss, heart in paradise.
Hua Cheng strokes her hair gently, the other hand pressed firmly between her shoulders to hold her steady. If she needs to fall apart, then she can do so, with the knowledge that someone will be there to catch the pieces. ]
There's no stopping your heart from hurting. But you are the same girl that stands on her own two feet, despite all the odds - otherwise, you wouldn't have made it to where you are now. Will you let it tear you apart, or will you face these odds like a lion?
[ Because Hua Cheng will not be kind to spare her her feelings. Will not coddle her, even as she is afraid. If she's a knight, then she's a fighter, and after what she's been through it would be a disservice to treat her like the child she should've been allowed to be. ]
I can't tell you what to choose. [ Softer, now. ] You deserve to make the choice yourself, for what feels right in the end. Whether it will be - that's for you to find out. But I can hold onto what you've lost, and what you decide to cast aside, no matter what it may be. And so long as we are here together, I will walk the path you choose.
A girl with no name, with very little left to define her from where she had come before, with feelings that seemed to have no purpose, that sprouted from what felt like a confusing, uncomprehensible sea of black.
...
But, no...
No, that wasn't right, was it?]
I'm...
[...
Who was she, then?]
...
Hua-chan... I don't know how... how right that is.
Who I am... who I... I was... that's... I can't see that anymore, Hua-chan. No matter how hard I look, I think... she's disappearing.
My heart feels the same. My heart... still hurts. It hurts for everybody that I've met here just like I remember it hurting before. M-my heart is what's scared for what will happen, if I can't remember.
But I...
[She tenses with a firm exhale.]
I remember you. And I remember Chijin... and Claude, and Raven, and Hajime-chan, Shuuya-kun, Shigeo-kun, Hansa-san, Chiron-sensei... I-I remember the people I love here... I know what my heart wants here...
I-I don't... I don't want to lose everything, Hua-chan, but... [She clings a little harder.] I still want to live. I want to live for the people I love, and... even if I don't know what to do, or I don't remember anything but right now...
I... I want to live... not for what I'm losing, but... for whoever I am. And for... for people like you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But as blind as he might be, right now, he isn't deaf. As he's making his way through, checking over things - to "see" the state of them, so to speak, before they're forced to go running through underbrush and traps to find bodies and clues - he freezes.
The absolute anguish practically echoes within him, resonating with something in his core.
But for as much as he recognizes the outcry, he recognizes the voice, and it's... strange, to feel a sense of dread, for someone that isn't Dianxia. ]
Hikaru? [ His own voice raising, he moves, quickfooted and certain despite the impairment, until his boot connects with something that skitters a bit. A step, two, three, he leans down - the second try, his fingers brush the PHS, and he picks it up.
It doesn't answer anything, but Hua Cheng takes it with him, as he comes to the waterfall. Damn this place that he can't see her, even if he knows she's there. ] Hikaru!
no subject
Her sobbing grips her, forces her breath out far too fast. She doesn't know what he's doing out here... but it's something concrete in a blur of panic, and she raises her voice despite how broken it echoes on the rock.]
H-hua-chan--
no subject
There's little regards for the rocks on his end, either. He drops down to her level, hardly feeling the shock of impact, empty hand reaching - almost offering - as he finds her. ]
Here, I'm here.
no subject
It's panic, forceful and violent, gripping her like she's never felt before, not even making it fully to his arms before her head drops against one of his knees, shuddering and sobbing.]
I-I..I c-can't r-re--me--
no subject
His entire expression turns dark, as his hand falls gently on her back when she falls forward. But he steadies himself, because - he has two hands, this time. A body that can offer comfort, instead of something formless and cold.
Carefully, he bows over her, drawing her up with him and into his arms. ]
Steady, Hikaru. Breathe.
no subject
...
His size so readily dwarfs hers, almost intimidating... and yet warm, and gentle, and...
...
She grips his robes with little resistance, burying her face into them fully and choking out another wail, the hiccuping gasps of a frightened child. She will need a couple minutes.]
no subject
There isn't anything to see, anyways.
So while a ghost doesn't need to breathe, maybe the Realm has made him a shade of even that as it takes away everything precious that makes them who they are. He can work with that.
Hua Cheng presses her close, and takes a deep, steady breath. Holds it. Releases it, slowly. Repeats. ]
no subject
"Breathe, H̵̛̛̛͓̻̥̙̻̹̻̞͔̺̲̣̦͕̦͕̿́̔͊̏͑̎̄͗̄̅̈́̑͂͗̃́̇̎̔̅̇̂̽̽͗̉̎̒̅͌͑̔͐͌͊̽͂̈́̿̐̌̔̈͑̌͑͑̐̓͊̅̒͛̓͗̔͒͒̎̃͐͛̉̈͐́̈́̍̇̏͌̋̆̄͘̚͘̚̕̕͜͜͠͝͝ͅȉ̷͚̠̳̟̩͇̱͈̃̈́́̐͒̎̈́͛͆̌́̿̆̿͑́̇͌̈̀͐̑̌̀̇̂̓̂͊͋̅̆̈́̈́͂̽͗̈́͑̒̓̂͌̈͊͗̐͊̈́̒͛͊͌̂̇̍̒̏͑͂̇̏̋̋͒̅̑̚̚̕͠͠͠͠͝͝͝k̴̛͂́̑̂͆̓̿͐̆̅̈́͛̑̉͒̇̽̓̽̃́̇̾̃͒̆̓̆̀̈́̾̏̆͌̓̃͛̈͗̌͆̍̽̉̈́̎̑̅͗̀̐͐̍͊̐́̑͐̔̋̿͑̆̚̚͘̕͝͝͝͝͝ą̸̨̧̢̨̢̛̗̱͈̪͍̞̼̪̥̻͍͈̻̗͉̙̲̘̠̘̲̦̖̼̼̗͕͍̞̘͚͔̹̟̱͚̞͇̻̹̹̳̮̹̩͇̪͓͎̤͖̳̺̰̞͇̞͚͉̞͓̲̬͇̪̥̻͉̦̮̯̹̼̬͓̤̟͎̭̻̬̫́͑̑́̎̓̒̌̉͆̅̄̉͂̈́̇̽̈̓̓̋̂̂̒̈́̌̅̋͗̋̏͗̀̎̈́̅̒̑͐̓̊͌͋̓͋̑͛͋̀́̄͌̈́́̇̄͛̋̐̎͆͑͗̀͌̈̀̋́̾̀̅͂̚͘̕͜͠͝͠r̷̨̨̡̨̢̡̛̛̛͇͕͉̱͖͓̙̤̦̰͍͕̦̠̖̯͙̫͕̥͇̦̗̜̜̼̬̥̣̠̬͍͙̘̰͉͎̞̺̟͓̥̹̳̪̯͉̝̻̙̣̗͚̝̠͎͓̣̦̣̲͎̣̯̺͖̩͈̯̭̜̭̄͆̔͊͛̿̽̐́͐͂̎̈̔̈́̌̒̊̓͒̔̐̇̂̄̊̈́̋̈́͂̐́͆̄͋̓̈́͒̄͑̈̅̂͗̅̑͐͐̃̎̓̓̀̀̈́̉̔͜͜͜͝͠͝͠ͅư̶̢̨̧̡̛̛͖̤͕̬̦͉͎͙̞̲͎̺̮̬̠̰͙̤̻̯̜̩̣͖̠͖̮̰̝̯̠̺̱̜͖͔̪̗̤͙̪̠̭͔̞͈̩̘̱̫͍̦̫͍̮̦͔͉̠̙̙̟̋̒̿̅͒̍̏̌͛̂͂̑̂͋̍̇̈͒͛͐̀̾̂̒̓̊̒̏͆̊͂͛͂͂̌̍̓̔̍̃͑̌̀̋͒̐̉͊́̆͒̃́̓̄́̈́̍͋́̉͋̓́̉̃̂͊͐̈́́̊̊͛̚̕̚̚͘̚̕̚̕͠͠͠͝͝ͅͅ."]
no subject
There you are. [ As if she's been found. But is there any finding what's lost, in a place like this? ]
no subject
[She presses her hands to her face, trembling. Her heart hurts, so badly that she feels like she might rip in two.]
I'm... I'm sorry, Hua-chan, I... I d-didn't mean to... [To concern him? To bother him? It all flickers across her mind, but she swallows it back. To have someone she knows, that she actually knows with a firm conscience, is a rock in her rapidly strengthening riptide, an anchor from keeping her from totally slipping under.]
... T-thank you...
no subject
Hua Cheng can't see her face, but her voice does enough for him. Slowly, his hand slides from the back of her head to frame one side of her neck, cool and gentle. If an anchor is what she needs, then he'll make himself one. ]
Stay steady. Your heart remembers what your mind's forgotten. [ And down, resting against where he can feel her rabbit-quick heart under his palm. ] You wouldn't feel like this if it didn't.
no subject
I...
I-I can't see nearly anything on my page in the book, Hua-chan... I can't read most of what I wrote for myself on the PHS, I-I can't understand things I know I left behind... I don't...
I-I don't remember who I am, Hua-chan...! I can't remember... I-I can't even understand what you say, and I...!!
[For just this moment, in his arms, she is terrified.]
no subject
What you wrote down, what you left behind, I'll hold onto them for you.
You asked if you could help me remember Dianxia - I'll help you remember this. Everything you've told me, who you are, who you'll become.
no subject
[She swallows, gripping him tighter. It should hurt, but it doesn't. She tastes the blood, but the sting doesn't follow, and her heartache takes its place, sickening and sharp.]
I'm... I don't know who I am. But I'm a Magic Knight... I'm a Magic Knight, keeper of Rayearth... protector of... of... Emeraude, Princess Emeraude... and I killed her with my own hands... because I...
...
[It's all a blur, pieces that she feels fit into place only days ago now disappearing into the back of her mind.]
I... I need to protect Cefiro. I need to... and I'm replacing its Pillar, but I don't... I don't remember why...!
Hua-chan... when did I forget??
no subject
The Realm gets worse and worse. But he slips both arms around her properly again, picking through the gaps to find what goes there, finding the story secure in his memories.]
You told me everything yesterday. You told me about Princess Emeraude, about her heartbreak, about the fall of Cefiro. Who you were, how you were called to be her blade, though you didn't know where you were being pointed until the end.
I know why you're going to become the Pillar. If the words won't reach you, I'll keep them safe. [ And her memories are an echo of a memory he hopes to never forget. I want to save the common people!
Something like saving the world, it doesn't really matter how you do it. But, although brave, it is foolish. Although foolish, it is brave.] Until they can resonate again, loud and clear, and you can return to your path.
no subject
If words won't reach you...]
I... I don't...
[She curls up her face against him, her voice quickly turning as frustrated as it is scared.]
What am I supposed to do when my mind doesn't remember but my... my heart knows it's gotta be a lie???? I know how old I am but I don't remember having a birthday... but I know, I know what a birthday is, and my heart knows it's supposed to be something happy, and I wouldn't just know without a reason! And it wouldn't make me feel this way if I didn't care, and I had to have something that made me care!!
[It hurts, it's hard, trying to fight two combating voices, of her mind crunbling to pieces and her heart pained to bursting, and he can likely hear that the tears are returning.]
I-I... I can't give up... I can't, I can't... but I c-can't choose both of them anymore, Hua-chan...!! I...
[Her breath hitches as she brings one of her hands to her face.]
I can't... I don't know if I want to... to keep holding onto what I think is true if I can't remember...
My heart... it hurts too much. It's too much...
no subject
It still doesn't change who she is. The little girl in the book shop, determined even while her heart was hurting, knowing what destiny she wanted to grasp in her hands - that's still in her core, even if it's buried deeper than her ribcage now. And who is he to say she's anything else than herself?
Even at rock bottom, Taizi Dianxia was still Taizi Dianxia. Even now, all that he is is still there.
Body in the abyss, heart in paradise.
Hua Cheng strokes her hair gently, the other hand pressed firmly between her shoulders to hold her steady. If she needs to fall apart, then she can do so, with the knowledge that someone will be there to catch the pieces. ]
There's no stopping your heart from hurting. But you are the same girl that stands on her own two feet, despite all the odds - otherwise, you wouldn't have made it to where you are now. Will you let it tear you apart, or will you face these odds like a lion?
[ Because Hua Cheng will not be kind to spare her her feelings. Will not coddle her, even as she is afraid. If she's a knight, then she's a fighter, and after what she's been through it would be a disservice to treat her like the child she should've been allowed to be. ]
I can't tell you what to choose. [ Softer, now. ] You deserve to make the choice yourself, for what feels right in the end. Whether it will be - that's for you to find out. But I can hold onto what you've lost, and what you decide to cast aside, no matter what it may be. And so long as we are here together, I will walk the path you choose.
no subject
A girl with no name, with very little left to define her from where she had come before, with feelings that seemed to have no purpose, that sprouted from what felt like a confusing, uncomprehensible sea of black.
...
But, no...
No, that wasn't right, was it?]
I'm...
[...
Who was she, then?]
...
Hua-chan... I don't know how... how right that is.
Who I am... who I... I was... that's... I can't see that anymore, Hua-chan. No matter how hard I look, I think... she's disappearing.
My heart feels the same. My heart... still hurts. It hurts for everybody that I've met here just like I remember it hurting before. M-my heart is what's scared for what will happen, if I can't remember.
But I...
[She tenses with a firm exhale.]
I remember you. And I remember Chijin... and Claude, and Raven, and Hajime-chan, Shuuya-kun, Shigeo-kun, Hansa-san, Chiron-sensei... I-I remember the people I love here... I know what my heart wants here...
I-I don't... I don't want to lose everything, Hua-chan, but... [She clings a little harder.] I still want to live. I want to live for the people I love, and... even if I don't know what to do, or I don't remember anything but right now...
I... I want to live... not for what I'm losing, but... for whoever I am. And for... for people like you.