REDACTABLE - Rufus

[heartablaze]

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[heartablaze]

[Hm.

She has to take a second to think about that, looking over the shore. That content feeling dies a little to something more serious, to something longing and regretful, but determined.]

If you mean for its prosperity? Then maybe, yes, something like this might be okay.

But more than that... I want for Cefiro to be somewhere that all its people can take part and shape it. Not just the Pillar. Not just me, or anybody that might come after me.

Something like this, with the hard work of everyone who cared for their land... I think that could work. Maybe not perfectly, but I don't think anything has to be perfect.

[soulus]

[Cynicism blooms from his doubt as to perfection's attainability; however, he chooses not to voice this in favor of probing after her vision.]

How did you become the Pillar?

[heartablaze]

[She considers just answering. But she feels that flare of cynicism, so unfamiliar and bitter, and her own emotions calm as she fully turns to face him, her hands folding in front of her.]

Would you okay doing this like the last time we talked, Rufus-san?

I don't mind telling you whatever you want to know. But if I do tell you something, I would like something in exchange. I'd like to know more about you, if you are going to ask more about me.

Is that okay?

[soulus]

. . . That's fine.

[As much as he dislikes the idea of sharing so much, there's also resignation. He understands the value of equivalent exchange.]

[heartablaze]

[It's the price you pay for being nosey, you big grump.

She'll nod, though. Their last conversation gave her a glimpse into how he might think, even if it felt a little unnatural to her.]

I was chosen to take the Test by the Creator, Mokona. Cefiro is a land of belief, and for someone to be a Pillar, they need to have a heart stronger than any other hearts in the world. I didn't ever intend on becoming the Pillar... I only wanted to find another way. Until I was chosen... nobody knew how or where a Pillar could be chosen. All we could do was... hope. Hope, and look, and pray that someone with selfish intentions didn't invade with a heart strong enough to take the Pillar's place.

I don't know how the Test was started, but I know I was pulled away, with one other. And...

[A beat, a flicker of alarm, before it just fades into a tired resignation. Okay. Okay, that... was just something else to note.]

I... guess I don't remember who my opponent was anymore. I remember their eyes. They were the color of copper, and deeply sad.

And they were dying.

[soulus]

[Recognition flashes at her alarm, then becomes understanding when she confirms his suspicion. Otherwise, he reserves judgment for the story thus far, though he does think that Hikaru is deeply sentimental.]

Because of the Test?

[heartablaze]

No.

They'd contracted some sort of illness, one that couldn't be cured. They had decided that, instead of having to watch their loved ones suffer over their last moments, they would use their remaining weeks to become the Pillar and let themselves drift to sleep forever, along with Cefiro.

No one can harm or kill the Pillar, save for those summoned from another world for that exact purpose. And if the Pillar was asleep forever...

No one would ever be able to touch them, or to touch Cefiro. It would be frozen for eternity.

[soulus]

[He stares. Trying to put two and two together, his feelings are muted.]

But you were able to.

[heartablaze]

[She shakes her head.]

They didn't get the chance. I was asked to fight them, before they could even become the Pillar. And when they told me their reasoning... I don't remember much of what happened, but I know I couldn't stand for it.

To let yourself die, even if you think it's the best option... it leaves behind everyone who ever loved and believed in you to have to deal with what's left from your choice. Instead of believing in the strength of the people you love to help you live whatever is left of your life to the absolute fullest... you believe in nothing but yourself, and your hurt destroys you.

That's exactly how Princess Emeraude was, in the end. I didn't want to see that repeated.

[soulus]

[Hikaru speaks of death and leaving loved ones behind. The more she speaks, the more an invisible weight settles around Rufus until he's inflamed. There's anger again, backed by growing resentment and a fresh layering of cynicism that wraps itself around a seed of potent grief.

Outwardly, Rufus frowns.]

I see.

[heartablaze]

[...Mm. Anger isn't a new feeling, and neither is grief. So that intense blossom of feeling is met only with empathy and a flicker of concern.]

...It's my turn, then, Rufus-san.

Would you tell me why what I just said angered you so much?

[soulus]

That's confidential.

[Seemingly nonreactive to her kind emotions, he responds coolly. No suspicion or anything of the sort accompanies his answer, suggesting that his unwillingness to speak doesn't stem from his personal feelings on the matter.]

[heartablaze]

Would you tell me your thoughts on my choice, then? Even if you can't explain why?

I can't take back my own feelings or choices. But... I don't want to ignore another's perspective again.

[soulus]

What you're imagining is an ideal world.

[Reality is much harsher. The worlds are peppered with idealistic folk, yet changes are slow to come with numerous setbacks in abundance. Sometimes there aren't even changes. His cynicism peaks here.

In contrast, annoyance unfurls when he thinks about her opponent in the Test.]

But nothing is timeless. Even a stagnant world will deteriorate under the right circumstances.

me trying to read rufus emotions in these brackets like math lady meme

[heartablaze]

Mn. I agree. [At least, she thinks she does, unable to pinpoint where exactly that annoyance is targetted.]

Are you speaking of my opponent's choice? To freeze a world along with themselves, instead of live alongside of it?

What would you have told them to do, Rufus-san, if you had been an opponent against them?

ganba, hikaru

[soulus]

I would have told them how revolting their plan is.

[His answer is clipped and sharp. He's not one to order people around, but he has his opinions to share.]

[heartablaze]

[She flinches at the intensity of it, though her emotions don't flicker. Ah. Okay. Maybe they were on a closer train of thought than she assumed.]

Do you think someone that is that desperate still deserves a chance to live?

[soulus]

Whether someone lives or not doesn't concern me. As a bounty hunter, I am more interested in the deceased.

[heartablaze]

[Ah, right. Demon, underworld, money... him being a bounty hunter actually makes sense and that's kind of sad.]

Would someone with this kind of view be looked upon badly in the Underworld?

[soulus]

I do not speak for the Underworld; however, cheating death is bad for business.

[heartablaze]

Is that why the idea revolts you? Just because of what it might do for "business", if this had happened in your world?

[soulus]

[Irritation flares at her questions.]

Is that a problem?

[heartablaze]

[She shakes her head, almost sheepish at the obvious nerve that hit.]

Nope. It's just how you feel, right?

I'm just wanting to make sure I understand.

[soulus]

[Frustration brews until he answers simply:]

Their attitude annoys me.

[heartablaze]

Mm. What about it?

If a stagnant world truly will deteriorate, then... does it matter whether they die as they should or stretch it out for forever?

[The own twisting of anger in her heart shows just where her thoughts lie. But it's not her question to answer when she'd already made her choice clear.]