[Mmm she can feel the Talk looming, though, and she stubbornly tries to straighten herself up with what little energy she has left.]
I-I'll get outta the grass, I promise! I was just, um.... just looking for somebody...
...
P-please don't tell me to go back to bed, Hansa-san, I... Claude already brought me back once and it took a really, really long time to get back outside...
[She takes the PHS back, staring down at the picture like maybe that'll get her back on her feet and looking faster.]
I don't know. He's mean, and he plays with words a lot. He doesn't ever wanna tell the truth, because he says nobody will ever wanna hear him be truthful, but...
I... think he really, truly hates himself, Hansa-san. It hurts, to see him smile and have it not be real at all.
He's hurting deep down, and he's angry, and I think he believes that is the only way he can be. He wants to drown in his own despair. It's...sad to see.
[He reaches out to grab her by the shoulder in case she wobbles again.]
I understand you want to help. But pushing yourself past the brink is not the way to go. You're doing a good thing. But do a good thing for yourself too, and get some rest. You can help him better with a sound mind instead of a tired one.
...Haha, it's okay. Sometimes the sun's like that. But a bed is where you need to be. You're just going to get earthworms in your hair if you stay out here. I'm sure you don't want that, hm?
Well, I like to do something quiet. If your brain is keeping you up with all your worries, no wonder you can't get good sleep. You then read a little, or try to think of something nice.
[She huffs, momentarily looking like she's about to burst into angry tears.]
I do sleep, Hansa-san. I just don't feel any better when I wake up... I go to sleep, and I stay asleep, and then I get up and I just feel like nothing happened...
It was just a little bit a... a couple days ago, like maybe I just slept funny, but I...
[hansa help did she forget how to sleep ):
Her fists curl into her lap as she tries to sit herself up.]
-- I don't care how tired I am... I just really, really want to find Nico-kun. Even if he doesn't want to talk to me or if he throws a stupid cactus at me, I don't care...
[She shakes her head, wiping her wrist at her eyes because sorry Hansa she is crying just a tiny bit. Small tears it's fine she's trying to hide it.
Her temperature is perfectly fine! Other than her raccoon eyes, she looks like she should be feeling just fine.]
I... I felt okay on that day I talked to everyone in the dining hall... Monday, I think? But that's... that's the last time I think I wasn't... um... tired...
[how many days ago was that? she can't even remember at this point.]
[Oh no. Hansa, admittedly feeling a little helpless, makes a decision - he reaches forward, pulling her into an embrace.]
Hey, hey. It's going to be okay. [He's rubbing her back, now, trying to think. If not illness, then what else has been causing people to feel tired? He shakes his head.] Tell me, Hikaru...do you know who you're bound to?
[She takes a second to pull herself together, though she's basically a ragdoll against Hansa's arms. He is warm and she just wants to sleep for the rest of her life right this second...
She sniffs, rubbing her face with both hands, trying to keep herself awake for a little longer.]
I... I don't know what that means, Hansa-san, I'm sorry...
You said that before, and I... um... was there a rule I missed?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heartablaze) wrote2020-09-09 11:59 pm
no subject
[She shudders out an exhale, drawing her legs close to her. Everything aches... maybe if she just slept a little longer?]
Chiron-san looked at me this morning. 'M not sick or anything. Just tired...
no subject
[A light joke, but his expression is serious.]
no subject
[She cuts off with a yawn despite herself.]
I though maybe I just might be kind of hungry when I got really sleepy yesterday, but... I've eaten okay, and I keep sleeping...
[She wearily looks up. Okay, the sun is still there... she thinks??]
What... time is it?
no subject
[A shake of the head.]
It's the afternoon. You can't stay out here.
no subject
Sorry... I don't really know...
[Mmm she can feel the Talk looming, though, and she stubbornly tries to straighten herself up with what little energy she has left.]
I-I'll get outta the grass, I promise! I was just, um.... just looking for somebody...
...
P-please don't tell me to go back to bed, Hansa-san, I... Claude already brought me back once and it took a really, really long time to get back outside...
no subject
[He stares at her for a long moment.]
Does this have anything to do with whoever you're bound to, Hikaru?
[Since he's been feeling tired, being away from the person he's been close to.]
no subject
[wat
She just. Looks at her lap.]
I... I dunno. I just made somebody mad a couple days ago, and I want to make sure they're okay, but...
He keeps running away... I think it's 'cause he thinks I'm stupid.
no subject
Hm? Who is calling you stupid? That's mean of them.
no subject
Nico-kun. [who the fuck is that] It's ok, I... I think I know why, but he's... a lot sadder than he should be. He never smiles like he should...
I promised I'd be there for him, though, and I'm... I'm worried about him.
no subject
Uh. [THOSE ARE NICE WORDS, BUT,,,] Sorry. Have to clarify...who is this Nico-kun?
no subject
[How... how to resolve this when she doesn't use anything but that nickname...
After a groggy few moments, she pulls out her PHS, slowly scrolling through the profiles until she sees his picture, before holding it out for Hansa.]
Mn. That's Nico-kun. I haven't seen him since Monday...
[It's Shuuya Kano's profile.]
no subject
[Oh.]
Of course he would be the one giving you this much grief... [SIGHS] He's a rather troubled kid, but I'm sure you've seen that for yourself.
no subject
I don't know. He's mean, and he plays with words a lot. He doesn't ever wanna tell the truth, because he says nobody will ever wanna hear him be truthful, but...
I... think he really, truly hates himself, Hansa-san. It hurts, to see him smile and have it not be real at all.
no subject
[He's not surprised one bit.]
He's hurting deep down, and he's angry, and I think he believes that is the only way he can be. He wants to drown in his own despair. It's...sad to see.
no subject
[She wobbles a little, catching herself again as though she's drifting off to sleep mid-thought.]
...I just don't know what I can do.
no subject
I understand you want to help. But pushing yourself past the brink is not the way to go. You're doing a good thing. But do a good thing for yourself too, and get some rest. You can help him better with a sound mind instead of a tired one.
no subject
[though it's sincere, she sounds almost frustrated... what do you even do when you sleep and sleep and never feel like it helps?]
I'll try not to fall asleep in the grass, Hansa-san... I know that's kind of silly. It was just nice and warm out in the sun...
no subject
[Come on Hikaru....please rest..........]
no subject
That frustration just builds on her face, silencing her for a long moment.]
What do you do when, um... being in bed doesn't help?
Sleep is supposed to make you feel better, right...? Not worse?
no subject
Listening to a lullaby is good, too.
no subject
[She huffs, momentarily looking like she's about to burst into angry tears.]
I do sleep, Hansa-san. I just don't feel any better when I wake up... I go to sleep, and I stay asleep, and then I get up and I just feel like nothing happened...
It was just a little bit a... a couple days ago, like maybe I just slept funny, but I...
[hansa help did she forget how to sleep ):
Her fists curl into her lap as she tries to sit herself up.]
-- I don't care how tired I am... I just really, really want to find Nico-kun. Even if he doesn't want to talk to me or if he throws a stupid cactus at me, I don't care...
no subject
[That's...different from worries keeping you awake, from the sounds of it.]
[He frowns.]
So not a single bit of sleep refreshes you? [He reaches forward to put a hand against her forehead, to feel temperature.] You're not sick, are you?
no subject
Her temperature is perfectly fine! Other than her raccoon eyes, she looks like she should be feeling just fine.]
I... I felt okay on that day I talked to everyone in the dining hall... Monday, I think? But that's... that's the last time I think I wasn't... um... tired...
[how many days ago was that? she can't even remember at this point.]
no subject
Hey, hey. It's going to be okay. [He's rubbing her back, now, trying to think. If not illness, then what else has been causing people to feel tired? He shakes his head.] Tell me, Hikaru...do you know who you're bound to?
no subject
She sniffs, rubbing her face with both hands, trying to keep herself awake for a little longer.]
I... I don't know what that means, Hansa-san, I'm sorry...
You said that before, and I... um... was there a rule I missed?
[there was not, says the narrator]
(no subject)
(no subject)